September

Its been a while since I have posted. Between my classroom and the boys' school, it has been a bit crazy. Donny did well the first couple of weeks of school. Now that the work has gotten harder, we are starting to have some struggles. When Donny gets frustrated because he doesn't understand something or he gets overwhelmed when he looks at something that looks like a lot, he doesn't communicate how he is feeling. Its like he doesn't know how to or he thinks its just easier to act out. He is looking for a way to escape the situation. Sometimes I wonder if he even realizes what he is doing. We are working on his communication skills and hopefully, with consistent encouragement, he will begin communicating his feelings.
I want to use my communication skills right now. Tonight I was catching up on Facebook. I came across a simple posting of a relative and friend. Two other women took over her post and in the end, they were not being very nice. The reason I am bringing this up, is one of the ladies made some blanket statements that I have heard numerous times from various sources. She made a comment about serial killers coming from broken homes and being abused. There were some comments about criminals and mental illness.
The first point I want to make is, mental illness knows no boundaries. Anyone could be affected by it. It doesn't care how many parents a child has or how much income. My son comes from a two parent family who have been there for him. The one thing we heard over and over again while dealing with the courts, is that it was not common for these children to have two parents that were so involved in their child's life. Our son has not been abused but he has been disciplined. One of the many doctors we have seen over the years said to me once that one in ten people with ADHD has other issues too.
The other point I want to make is that just because a person struggles with mental illness, does not mean they are bad people. When Donny is having a good day, he is loving and fun to be around. He can be so thoughtful and caring. He has an unusual sense of humor and an inquisitive mind. He also has an intelligence that his school work doesn't show.
The third point I want to make is that society has for some reason made it ok to make snap judgements about people. People are encouraged to voice their opinions without knowing all the facts. I'm going to be a bit cliche and suggest that things might not be what they seem. Also, don't judge a book by its cover. Without knowing the whole story, you really shouldn't judge others. I have a friend whose nephew was charged as a child molester cuz at 17, he was doing what boys do (so I've been told) and his 4 year old cousin ran into his room followed by the mother. The mother pressed charges that he exposed himself to her daughter. With Donny, I have heard more times than I could even count that his problem is that he needs to be spanked. Been there, done that, it only made his behavior worse. So my challenge to you, try to not judge others, you might not know the whole story. Think about how you would feel if someone judged you without knowing all the facts.